Journalist Tran Mai Anh: Pain, tears, injustice, peace and unconditional love of Thien Nhan

Nhan, I lost your leg, lost your bird, are you angry with me? The little boy Thien Nhan at that time answered that i am not angry with you, you are my mother, you can do whatever you want.

When  Thien Nhan  was 4 years old, playing like a baby kangaroo playing in front of the door, I heard the neighbor's screams, shouting at the way to bring the police out to scare children for fun, but many children were afraid to shrink or cry. I'm going to call the police to arrest me now. I didn't have time to rush out to give advice to the neighbor when I heard Thien Nhan's polite voice but he definitely called the police here, he was first arrested for the crime of slandering innocent people.

I teach my children  the time they don't even know how to say that, it's the law to protect themselves and with the law people are equal. Of course, children can't understand complicated theories, but in many everyday situations I follow the law to behave, Thien Nhan and his two brothers gradually absorbed it.

Once, I rode a motorbike with three brothers to play at Children's Palace. As soon as the car got back, the mobile siren whistled to clear the road. Hearing the siren, the surroundings were moving, and the 3 children were also startled and frantic. I just leisurely told my mother and daughter are driving the car close to the sidewalk like this, then there is no need to move anywhere, my job is to put on enough helmets and go as usual. Now hurrying and driving without wearing a helmet in time is breaking the law and dangerous for yourself.

One night, instead of wishing her good night, Thien Nhan looked for her and said directly mom, tomorrow I will definitely hit this guy. I think I have to tell my mother in advance. I get it, sometimes it's normal for us to have to hit someone, especially when my son has been so outspoken.

I said if you have to, then you have to know how to hit smart. It is right to be decisive to solve a problem to the end, but solve it so that it doesn't create other complications that make you waste time and effort to continue solving. First, according to the law, in a fight, the defender will be judged less guilty than the attacker, so you need to be the one to defend yourself. Monday Tuesday…

I explained to Thien Nhan 4 things and said there are some other very important ideas, you should learn more first, do whatever you want, don't let yourself be passive because of lack of understanding and then complain of unjust disadvantages. I believe that, when my son learns how to fight intelligently and legally, he will be able to find other solutions that are more effective than hitting someone.

To ask a kid like Thien Nhan to  a review is really not that simple. Playing with the phone during his nap time, Thien Nhan was fined confiscated and wrote a tally. He will ask about the regulation on how long the disciplinary action will take to confiscate the phone, in addition, the rule says that a written review is required.

When Thien Nhan's brother is unjustly assaulted by an adult, there is one way to get justice for his children that I can do is to make them pay with the noise, with the contempt of the surroundings. , by human punishments.

This way is short and simple and they deserve it. But then my children will see how fragile life is, where the law does not protect them. I took a lot of time to settle it slowly, by gathering evidence, witnesses, inviting lawyers… Every step of the way I told my children why my mother did it. The unexpected has already happened. What I need is to guide my children how to calmly deal with problems, need to let my children see the environment they live in, outside of home and school, they are also protected by the law.

When a child does not see the need for the law but only relies on behavior and personal strength, their worldview will fall short, their life will always feel insecure.

Thien Nhan was not born  my belly. That is the truth and Nhan is the one who, above all else, has the right to know that truth. Fate is already like that, don't avoid it so that it becomes more complicated and tragic than life.

Any concept created by humans, humans also have the right to create other concepts. Nhan was not born  her mother's belly, but who forbade Mai Anh's mother  giving birth to Thien Nhan  the heart. But the heart is even more fragrant, more vibrating than the belly - since childhood, Nhan and I have understood the same.

Every night before going to bed, the children who like this mother the most cry out kêuoh my god, there are too many children, they have to take attendance without losing any of them. Then I chanted according to the age of 3 children: Baby Dragon, Baby Monkey, Puppy. Each child was excited   in a lucky way that their mother did not miss them.

When I asked again, who gave birth to the children, they would scream Mom. Thien Nhan puppy will scream most proudly because his mother gave birth to him  a fragrant heart, and the two brothers only  the belly.

Children, no matter how small, even if they can't speak yet, can understand many things if we share information with them honestly and properly. It's very difficult to hold a boy with a legless leg like Thien Nhan, it's even more difficult to hold his armpit because the lost leg makes him move and just fall down.

A mother who is not very big and muscular like me carrying Thien Nhan to hospitals, erratic meals to connect flights to Italy, distant America for surgery, is not easy. If I cry and cry, I'll just collapse.

Therefore, I placed the boy in a sitting position in front of  Goodness, Mother did not lose her leg or be in trouble. We're going to treat my son's illness, so what can you do to make me more tired, it's not fair. Life can't be that unfair.

During the long journey of healing, there was a rare time when only a single tear quietly rolled  the corner of his eye and ran down his cheek and once the boy sobbed, crying not because "Mommy hurts" but because "Mother" oh so long. Surgery after surgery in this never-ending journey is a frustrating feeling that is more terrible than pain. However, this year's Tet 2020, Thien Nhan will have to face a new major surgery in the distant United States.

The boy still endured with the cuts in the flesh in such a way, what must go through, accept it as quickly as possible, with as little pain as possible. The first time the doctor peeled off each layer of tight bandages pretty bird  of Thien Nhan after the major surgery at Bologna hospital in Italy, Thien Nhan tightly grasped his mother's thumb, sweated out of pain, and pressed his lips tightly. to the point of bleeding, the person tensed on the hospital bed.

I later asked him why he didn't cry. Thien Nhan said, "I'm in a lot of pain, but shouting and struggling is difficult for the doctor to do, it's even more painful, if it's not clever, the doctor will cut the wrong bird and lose my mother's billions and half.

That said, it's not easy to look right and say the true nature of a problem, even for adults. That's what I teach, but sometimes I make mistakes so that my kids can point them out. That was the time when the mother and daughter packed the postcards and fundraising toys, working until late and tired of not finishing. I encourage them it's good to be at home on this cold winter night. There are so many people out there who are still making a living. Thien Nhan said calmly   well, I don't need to talk about the rich and poor here, I just need to tell my children to work hard so that we can go to sleep together quickly.

So I never needed to be afraid of the fear that many people worry about my mother and me, the fear that the consequences of fame will make him spoiled, arrogant.

Thien Nhan can play all day with crickets. After the showers, all the mothers went to the ground to scoop up the worms  the road, return them to the nest, so that no one could turn them into bait for the cocks or step on them. Nhan often joins with the children who pour crickets, but only catches the crickets to take care of them for 1 night, and then return them to nature in the morning.

Thien Nhan can play all day with crickets

I still play games with the Thien Nhan brothers and sisters because I see my childhood in them. When I was a kid, I cried and cried when I got home  school to see ants around the dead goldfish just because I was cleaning the tank and poured the water too high for it to jump out. Now sometimes this mother also suffers a lot because when a child is excited about the natural world, a lot of things happen. Mom will be reminded because when your grandfather goes out to play, he runs down to the sunny yard, hops around to pick up worms in the corner of the school, the alarm goes off to class in time, sweats profusely, the feet of his shoes jump  the garden to the dirt along the way. class corridor. So it's a violation. But in return, at other times, Nhan gets bonus points for cleaning the garden, you clean up the wrong plants, and Thien Nhan quietly finds and replants each weak herbal plant.

Thien Nhan was also warned to hide a turtle in his desk drawer. The turtle of unknown origin could be carrying a disease or something. So the turtle was moved home, living properly in a lovely tank, and I had to help Thien Nhan align the pebbles he found in the yard so that it was neither high nor low. A little high, the turtle will climb the fence, too low, the turtle will be flooded. The turtle tank is propped up on the second floor mattress of the bed, at the foot of the grandpa's feet. I advise it if it breaks when it sleeps, what if the mattress is wet. It told me only one leg, it takes very little space, it's enough for the turtle tank to get into the gap where the leg is missing. And then the mother and daughter's turtle tank was invested with a UVB 3.0 lamp to help the turtle absorb vitamin D3 to avoid skin and bone diseases caused by lack of sunlight.

Nature fills its bosom, in its breath. Once, when I woke up in the middle of the night, Thien Nhan was nowhere to be found, calling out  exasperation  madness to anxiety because my son was still missing. Then the boy came back on his own, slick and wet. It said it was raining, so I went down to explore some dark places and then sat on a chair in the middle of the yard to eat snacks and watch the rain. Another time, my phone was bombarded by the building security because Thien Nhan crawled up to the top floor of the building, crossed the technical road to sit on the pipes on the 31st floor terrace to watch the moon and stars.

I told my grandfather, my mother also likes to hang out and watch the sky and clouds, and also like to relax looking at other people who are small and busy on the ground, but she doesn't climb on other people's roofs anymore because the house is not hers. Me and my friends too, while waiting for the day when I build my own skyscraper, the only way to climb up is where people allow it.

- Is Thien Nhan loved?

- Yes

- Is Thien Nhan loved a lot?

- Yes.

(If it weren't for the love of thousands of people, and the dedication to each operation, every word, and every calculation, there would be no Thien Nhan of today.)

Is Thien Nhan discriminated against, annoyed by people, unjust?

- Yes

If the whole group of children are rebellious, Thien Nhan will be the one who gets yelled at. If other children are just scolded normally, then Nhan will be charged with the crime of being famous, then he has to be better, as an adopted child, he needs to be better without helping his mother. God, mischievous children are also the most common human rights, why give them extra meanings or responsibilities that someone considers great.

There is a girl who commits suicide because she is constantly asked when she will get married. I also hate it when my kilograms haven't changed for decades, but people keep asking me why I'm getting thinner. I can only answer that I ate a lot, only ate the poison by mistake.

The ungrateful, unconscious habit that is no stranger to many people has really bothered him every day. From the house to the elevator, to the school, every day Thien Nhan has to go through many gates, the freedom to breathe is sometimes disturbed, let alone any other freedom. More than 13 years with every day in a row only the same question content  old grandparents to a few-year-old children with many shades of sincerity, curt, slanting, annoying curiosity why only one leg?

There are really days when no one is doing anything and I feel annoyed and angry and want to hate the whole world and he is constantly being bothered. Once, mother and daughter were going to the market, met a lady asking about Thien Nhan's missing leg with a very ungainly action that made me choose a fish that was just about to grab her tail and beat her.

But Thien Nhan is not like his mother, the boy always calmly repeats the same content that he has had an accident since childhood. It is not enough to answer the question and gently move a little away  the reach of the other person in case someone asks, but it is not enough to reach out and touch Nhan's body to  whether a leg is really missing or not.

Compared to the pain of tearing the skin every time after surgery, the pain of the skin will quickly or slowly disappear, what Nhan has to deal with every day is much more troublesome and tired. Only Thien Nhan has enough courage to lie still waiting for surgery, enough courage to be calm before the scrutiny of people, calmly to still live in love with life, love nature, plants and people who are sincere with him.

Be calm because Thien Nhan is busy, busy finding pebbles that are not high or low enough for the tortoise to lie down comfortably, busy going home quickly, showing his mother the spoils of the whole session, climbing rows of sticky plastic mangoes. full of laps, busy holding a basketball down to the training ground in time for an appointment with his best friends, busy returning innocent earthworms before they were killed...

There are some separate rules in the family that both the mother and the child must follow. Not lying is among the top regulations. How lying or being honest determines the character or character of a particular person, I have not found the most accurate  for me, let alone for the children. So I just said lying is the brain will have to think, plus it takes a lot of thought to come up with the best lie. Then the brain has to remember again, otherwise it will forget, then it will be different before and after. Why take extra work on people?

I love the saying even a thin strand of hair leaves its shadow on the ground. Assuming that we are small, it is not necessary to leave good things in this world, at least we must not leave the earth what is harmful and ugly. And moreover, the lie or sin as well as that tiny hair will leave a mark to be recognised anyway.

When I filled out Nhan's birth certificate, I thought how many times I would change my mind up and down. At first, according to inertia, she never told a lie, so the mother recorded the truth where the child was born and the relationship was adopted.

In an instant, I saw that the birth certificate of the best boy was  the same hometown as Thien Minh, Hai Minh, and the relationship line said Mother. That seems to be more synchronized and better for Nhan and in line with my heart because I never thought for a moment that my child was not my own Son.

Then in a split second I decided to declare with my real hometown in Nui Thanh, Quang Nam, Da Nang and the fact that I was adopted. It's not that I'm less sensitive or less in love with Thien Nhan's son. The birth certificate will follow my child to grow up, go to many places with my child, I cannot let it be a proof of any evasion or weakness.

Every Saturday night, my mother and I will eat simply and quickly so that each person can have their own time before the party really starts at 9pm. This will be the time of drinks, snacks, teen-trending music that the older generation listens to because of the melody, crazy because of messy words... and the time of all kinds. Tell the truth without being judged. I also learned more good songs to add to the children's grandmother's playlist, what was happening in the world of 13-14 year olds. The kids also know how much they have a playable mother.

Big brother Minh rides a big bike. Little Minh rides a little bike. Thien Nhan tries to press the pedal of a tiny bicycle in the park. After a while, I saw all three boys sitting and crying. It's not that the three guys were bullied, but because Mr. Thien Nhan met a dirty guy wearing a shabby shirt in the park, who was eating on credit  a tofu seller. The brothers talked and confided that the boy was wandering because his parents divorced, no one cared for him, for four months now he has lived in the park and begged for leftovers, eating on credit, the cold winter night of Hanoi still only there was a blazer, curled up in the corner of the porch...

The wandering boy said to the three Thien Nhan brothers:  I am like that now, but one day I will be different. At that time, if you want to buy something, your parents won't let you buy it or need anything, just tell me, I will buy it. He plans to save the money to buy a shoe polish to earn money.

The poor Thien Nhan brothers presented to me, asking their mother for a weekly, Sunday morning, to go to the park to play with him, and presented to their grandfather to ask for his clothes, because he was poor and because he is a good man. I told them not to wait until next Sunday as you promised, because that would mean another week of cold when night came. Don't be afraid, don't be afraid. It doesn't matter if you are a bad person, bad people and good people will both be hungry and will be equally cold.

Thien Nhan doesn't like to go out to crowds of strangers, but every time he invites Nhan to participate in fundraising activities for more than a thousand children, he will not be afraid, not afraid, but immediately agree because Nhan understands that he is still as small as Nhan and helps him. If you help others, more adults will help, so thousands of unfortunate children like Nhan will have more opportunities to have surgery and recover lost parts of their body in the hope of becoming a human. normal.

Don't ask the question again, why do we Vietnamese collect donations for the  Than Nhan & friends  fund, but not only operate on Vietnamese children but also Cambodian and Ukrainian children...

Just like that wandering boy, just like the bad people and the good people will both go hungry, will get the same cold, sick children will be the same in every country. Just like volunteer doctors  Italy,  the US,  Russia,  Belarus, come here to operate on Vietnamese children who are not their nationality.

Illnesses and misfortunes can come suddenly, not choosing rich or poor, so every medical record or patient comes to the fund. And Thien Nhan helped her mother organize the s, paste the code for each child, and stare at each picture of the wound. How long does Nhan still say one sentence another baby like me.

One afternoon, a friend posted a few lines on social networks to find Thien Nhan's mother Mai Anh. Many readers have tagged my name, even for the account numbers of the program  Thien Nhan & friends  because they thought that person wanted to help the Foundation. A mother's hunch helps to smell the burning smell of these simple words. She came to me to discuss how her son, who is in grade 4, was beaten by Mr. Thien Nhan in grade 7 and even described "he threw his crutches at him".

A mother's hunch also helped me not to call my son back urgently, but to wait until Thien Nhan slowly returned home like every day after school (he also stopped by the mango trees, stopped by the basketball court). Thien Nhan tells the story of a child wearing an elementary school uniform but twice his size. When Nhan and his friends passed by, the other boy criticized Nhan for being one-legged and so small, how could he fight.

Thien Nhan continued, the boy continued to criticize him, so Nhan and his friends went back to exchange. If you like, fight to see who is better, but fight with the condition that you don't tell your parents or school. Without finishing the other boy's words, the boy threw his bag and rushed in, causing Nhan to fall, flattened under his big and fat opponent. The man was on crutches, so he fell, still clutching the crutches, swinging his crutches to get up and fight back.

So understand. I told my son so that his mother could make an appointment with the other family to meet and exchange the truth. And Thien Nhan just told me to go take a shower, then find a good movie or lie down and watch it for fun, there's no need to waste time meeting the other house. That's enough to understand, Thien Nhan just needs to know that he acts like a real son who dares to play, dare to abide by the agreement and as long as his mother understands him, it doesn't matter who thinks what.

If you ask me, when the child is spoiled, what should the mother do. I only have to do one thing, in every situation be on my child's side. Simply, if you are not on your side, there is no way to understand your child, if you do not understand, how can you teach your child?

My mother and I all understand the thing, in this world nothing is forever, friends can also leave each other, husband and wife may not love each other anymore, the big world out there can also turn its back on you. Mother and daughter can't leave each other. Difficulties, sorrows and joys, brothers and sisters are sharing, having spoiled children, in prison, mother is still the person who loves them the most in the world and takes care of them. Only a mother is always trusting, never giving up hope for her child.

Every day, every day since I was a child until now, I tell Thien Nhan, whoever bullies you should tell your mother right away. The mother takes care of everything. Nhan was always smiling yes yes but the boy never told me, because he needed nothing more than what he already knew: Whoever does Nhan, Mai Anh's mother will ruffle her hair, definitely not forgiving. Only when he was at his weakest after a major surgery did Nhan whisper  Mom, whoever bullies me, please hit me. He believes that I will always protect him, so he loves me so much, he swore  when you grow up, please take care of your mother.

Nhan, I lost my leg, lost my bird, are you angry with me? The little boy Thien Nhan then replied, "I'm not mad at you, you're my mother, you can do whatever you want. Thien Nhan loves his mother unconditionally, I also have to be the mother of 3 brothers. The best way to be a mother with these 3 sons, in my opinion, is not to create talented children to be proud of, but to be trusted by your children to share both good and bad things, is to make your children understand, Even if the world outside abandons you, you will always be here

The boy ran off on crutches because he was late for school, suddenly he turned around, and rushed back on his crutches to me what can I call you.

Every morning before school or any time of the day when mother and daughter are divided into two places, Thien Nhan will tell me what to call me. Every now and then, he breaks my heart because he tells me how to protect me, to make sure I'm safe. Choose between mother and sacrifice herself, Thien Nhan it will choose mother. This I do not need to expect or hope, believe anything that  a tiny child Human it has been.

From a baby until now when he was 13 years old, every time he turned back to Thien Nhan, he was also "under the bullets". Simply put, born with a 75% disability rate, Nhan is no different  a small wounded soldier. The wind turned sky was the night. The character struggled because the tailbone caused pain like maggots crawling in the bones. Every night the pain was like that, the little wounded soldier pressed his pillow to his face, biting the pillow to bear the pain to try not to let out a groan for fear of his mother losing sleep.

That's the way this boy is, since he was little, he is the most afraid in the world of what makes his mother tired, his mother sad, his mother disappointed. He struggled all night, but in the morning, Nhan still asked to go to school because he wanted to be strong and didn't want to be different  his friends.

Remember Thien Nhan's most recent surgery at the National Children's Institute. The first night, after coming back  the postoperative room, the mother sat with her knees to look after Nhan, the mother and daughter shared a single bed with two other mothers and children:

I'm lying here at your feet  (because Nhan has only 1 leg, while 4 people / 1 bed, it creates a little extra space for me). You lie down to sleep, you don't have to sit and look after me, I'm fine, if I'm sick, I'll wake you up.

So I curled up on my pillow and crawled into the place where my grandfather's right leg was supposed to be, and fell asleep because I was also tired. Then, in her deep sleep, she heard a faint hum, so she woke up. Thien Nhan's son was biting his lip to hold back the gurgling sound that came out, straining on the bed, sweating all over.

What's up son?

- I'm in so much pain. (This is the time when the pain medication in the surgery wears off, so it is the most painful time of each surgery)

- Why don't you call your mother so that she can find a doctor??? I'm sorry I yelled.

- Because I want to let you sleep

From a young age, after the surgery, Nhan swore to me, I said, when you grow up, take care of your mother. In all circumstances, Nhan takes care of her mother and doesn't want her to be tired, sad, or disappointed in Nhan. Thien Nhan said that when he grew up, he would take care of his mother and raise him, but sometimes Nhan was naughty, busy playing and not studying hard. Grandma reminded me to study, but why would I want to raise my mother after that, Thien Nhan decidedly You don't have to worry, I said I will take care of my mother.

People still ask me, taking care of a child with missing parts of the body and having to undergo many surgeries like Thien Nhan must be very hard. Hard work is not wrong, what is wrong here is different  imagination, the mother of this child does not have to work hard to coax her child to stop crying, to coax her child to try to endure the pain, but to be heartbroken watch your grandpa don't try to hold back your tears, don't try to hold the pain of slicing alone for one reasonI want to let you sleep.

 

Thien Nhan squealed, wrapping his arms around asking to turn the faucet to the coldest step. It was too young at that time, I had to hold it in my arms, so every cold winter, after bathing Thien Nhan, I shivered purple. But not so Nhan. Even now, Thien Nhan in the four seasons only takes a cold bath, wears a blazer, and likes to wade barefoot in the rain.

Many mornings Thien Nhan lingered and waited for me to leave the house together, only going a short distance together, but there were many things that happened along the way. Slip-on flip-flops or fancy pink shoes, or just barefoot. He doesn't like to wear black shoes even though it's the uniform policy. This causes it to continuously deduct civilization points.

I told him if he still wants to go to this school, he needs to change his shoes at the school gate, otherwise I will help him find a school where he can go barefoot. And if I'm good enough to be able to build a school like my dream in the future so that boys and girls share the same dream, hobby of going barefoot and pink shoes, that's great.

One night I wrapped up a big woolen towel in the elevator. Cold and rainy winter night. I'm very shy, but I have to go to buy pho late at night because the old men who eat early are now hungry for hot pho.

As I was crouching, a warm robe lady asked: It was raining so cold yesterday that I saw that Thien Nhan had a blazer, so I asked her mother Mai Anh was away, so no one asked why she wore few shirts. So sick now?

Unfortunately, few people know that since he was a child, he never took a hot bath. In the cold winter, when he poured warm water, he screamed like he was on fire. The shirt is short sleeve only. In the car, open the  and open your mouth to enjoy the cold wind, but until now, the baby has not coughed, runny nose, sore throat... ever.

I cried to Nhan:  You only get what affects your family's prestige, you just dress like that, people think this mother doesn't take care of her children. Nhan laughed at this time, no mother can still buy noodle soup for her child when it's so cold.

A newborn baby was left alone in the mountains, eaten away by animals. One child was covered with ants and insects while the blood was slowly drying. A child with a strong survival instinct who had survived 72 hours of such misfortune and excruciating pain had no reason to make him cower just because of the winter. I have no reason to conform to the usual standards and valuations imposed on Thien Nhan's son. And even if we want to impose, no one can do it for one simple reason, we have never suffered like the boy.

9:30 pm. A good child is now clean and fragrant, wrapped in a warm blanket.

My little Thien Nhan just said hello to his mother, hugged his basketball, clacked loudly along the empty corridor and hurried down to the football field.

Thien Nhan's life energy is very much. Waking up in the morning, it only takes 5 minutes to be ready to go. Late at night, Nhan is still in excess of health. I let Nhan work hard and enjoy playing basketball alone at night, rather than locking him in four walls.

Many nights, he would struggle to sleep. When he was small, he bit his knee to bear the pain, when he was a little older, he went down to the yard to walk and look at the sky and earth. If Thien Nhan is afraid of ghosts, the boy also goes to find out where ghosts are, afraid of the dark, he crawls into dark corners of the apartment complex to explore. I just told her that if she knew which direction she was going, where she was playing, then in an emergency such as her child being kidnapped, she would save her time looking around to save her child as quickly as possible.

I think, the boy needs to endure and experience life in a way that suits his personality, especially when that personality is born of an unhappy fate. A child who can be calm in the face of pain, extreme loss, scrutiny and even discrimination in order to smile and enjoy life, of course, there will be many things we consider important. become so normal again; There are things that we consider simple, but Thien Nhan can hardly accept it.

In the middle of the night, he would come home the basketball court in a dirty state, but his energy was still as raw as early in the morning. He will take a nice shower, blow-dry his hair, prepare his uniform, and organize his backpack. He would kiss his mother slowly, check to see if she needed anything as if the day was long, the night was far coming, and then go to sleep. If I coughed at night, he would stagger up to the bed and slam his little hand on my back, then dreamily turn back to sleep.

In the morning he won't remember what he did when he woke up in the middle of the night because he was in a hurry. Only 5 minutes, Nhan will have time to swipe a little gel on her bouncy hair and rush out of the house to start a long day of excess energy.